There’s Two of Me, Too

I heard a commentator, who had personally been challenged and inspired as a youth by Bill Cosby, talk about him today. He recounted the deeds of the man we thought we knew, the philanthropy, the call he gave to young black men to step up, the emphasis he placed on education. Then he recounted the shameful deeds of the man we never knew. I know he was battling to reconcile the good Cosby had done with the harm he had inflicted. He asked the question whether it was possible for both of those versions to coexist in one man. I wanted to tell him yes!

Romans 7 describes that person. We are all that person–the one who wants to do good, and tries, but is overcome by evil. In no way does the fact that we are all in that boat diminish the magnitude of the evil or the need for justice! Society needs to set the limits and should exact the full penalty when those bounds are crossed, particularly as they have harmed others.

As a Christian, however, I can look at my own life, the positive difference I have wanted to make right alongside the secrets I have kept, and know that there are two versions existing in me as well. I know that I am utterly dependent on and daily grateful for a Savior who was the only one on this earth in whom there was no duplicity. I am thankful beyond measure for the mercy and love which he has shown to me as well as to those whom I have harmed.

I pray for all those who looked up to Bill Cosby as a role model and are now questioning everything. I pray for all of the women he preyed upon, whose lives were irreparably, tragically changed as a result of his abuse. I pray for his wife, Camille. I also pray for Bill Cosby, that he will be completely humbled and finally fully acknowledge what he has done, so that he can then find the forgiveness and true peace that only Christ can offer, even as he faces the earthly consequences of his actions.

Letter to the Next Democratic Presidential Candidate

Screenshot_2018-04-02-21-20-24-1Dear 2020 Democratic Presidential Candidate,

Here are some of the things we hope to see from you:

1. Come clean with us. Tell us whatever opposition research might find on you. Let us know that you are doing this because you understand the toll that a constant drip of alarming, demoralizing surprises takes. Make no excuses. Own up and sincerely express regret. Remind us then, that, while no one is perfect, you firmly believe that honesty, integrity and strength of character really do matter. Humbly make a commitment to strive to be the kind of president our country can be proud of and the rest of the world can look at with respect. Assure us that you will not be afraid to admit to your future mistakes or try to cover them up, but will correct course as necessary in an effort to do what is best for our nation. Say all of this without attacking your opponent.

2. Tell us about your experience and training which has prepared you to lead this country. Give us assurance that you know what is going to be needed and how to oversee a healthy, functioning government. Show us that you know what has led many to distrust “the establishment”, then explain the reasons why having knowledgeable people who have dedicated their lives to understanding our democracy and how it works best is necessary and should and can be a noble calling. Tell us you will work in every way possible to build up our trust again.

3. Stand FOR something. Tell us the good things you want for this country and why. Be specific about policies and goals. Address our real concerns and then offer us solutions which are based in reality, not just what we might want to hear. Give us vision. Inspire us. Call us to work with you.

4. Please, take the high road! Don’t be negative and divisive. We are already so heartbreakingly divided! Instead, be intentionally healing. Strive for inclusion. Offer something to those who voted Republican in the last election but are looking for for a face-saving reason to vote differently this time. Be mature! Give us hope that we can once again be a unified nation.

We’re looking forward to meeting you! We need you!





Same Dust, Same Breath


Why didn’t God create Adam and Eve at the same time?

I think it was to underscore the fact that he never intended for males to operate on their own; to emphasize that males are only one half of humanity and that what the other half of humanity has to offer to them is essential.

The only time during creation that God said something he had done was not good was regarding the Man being alone. Did God make a mistake? Or, was he highlighting his point?

God did not create Eve as a being separate and distinct from Adam. She was the only created being to be taken from/out of another created being. The female Elephant, cow or monkey was not created from the rib of its mate; the female of the human species, however, was. Why?

This creation of woman was not God’s statement regarding women’s inferiority or her subservient role in marriage relationships. Rather, I believe, this was his statement about humanity and the important role both genders are meant to play in regard to each other.

I believe God intentionally made humanity incomplete when he created Adam alone, and then he finished the creation by fashioning the ‘missing part’, not from some separate handful of dust of the ground, but from the exact same material he used to form Adam. They were separate beings made from the very same particles of dust.

The same exact breath of the Spirit that breathed life into Adam also then filled Eve, signifying that humanity, both male and female, is one. They are equal parts of the whole, not unlike God the Father, God the Son and God the Holy Spirit.

Men and women share the same substace, yet are intended to bring their unique perspectives to each other, neither superior to the other, both necessary to each other.

This is in regards to all areas of life, not just in marriage, as some might suggest. In every aspect of life, the male perspective needs to be balanced by the wisdom women have to offer, and vice versa. There is no part of life where that is not true. Where that balance does not exist, all of humanity suffers.

It is my hope that the changes which seem to be happening in our society right now will finally encourage both men and women to embrace and celebrate their own vital uniqueness and their mutual dependence on what each has to offer.







Throughout history, certain practices and behaviors have been viewed initially as the acceptable norm, then, with the passage of time and changes in attitudes they become less acceptable, though still tolerated, and finally, there comes a defining moment when the collective conscience says, “Enough!” Slavery, was one of those issues, as was child labor.

I believe the exploitation of females as sex objects has finally reached that boiling point. The days when women were considered to be property are long gone, but the boys-will-be-boys, wink, wink, nudge, nudge mentality has continued to be tolerated by society.

Most women have expected this behavior and have simply learned to work around it within certain limits. But even when those limits were exceeded, as they all too often were, there was still very little that could be done without a woman’s own life being ruined, so women just kept quiet. They rarely even told each other. They silently carried their pain and shame alone.

Until now.

The discovery, for women, that our own mothers, sisters, daughters and friends were all finally admitting “Me too”, and that we had never known, was simultaneously horrifying and liberating! It unleashed the powerful mother-bear protective instincts we share which cross all separating lines.

Where we were not able to stand up for ourselves individually, we were now damned well willing to stand up for each other! Women are mad and they’re naming names! Every guilty name! No name is too powerful or too sacred! No guilty name is exempt.

Bewildered men watch as the dominoes fall around them, wondering if and when their names will be called and their indiscretions exposed.

Even some women are caught off-guard by this spontaneous movement and are uncertain how to feel or what to do now that the secret wound has been excised and pus is oozing in the streets.

This excision is painful, but it can be the beginning of healing. Perhaps, as society begins to grasp the magnitude of the problem and its far-reaching effects, and as men realize that women will no longer protect their dirty little secrets, changes will take place.

Perhaps, just as slavery and child labor were once the norm, then ultimately minds changed and battles against those practices were fought and won until, now, they are almost universally considered abhorrent, the same will finally be true of the way society views the mistreatment of women.